From meditation to initiation

Maitreyi (the leader of the Toronto Sri Chinmoy Centre at that time) taught me how to meditate on Guru's picture. When I had my first meditation, she just showed me a picture, the Transcendental photo of Guru, and said, "Just look at it." That's it. That was the only instruction: “Look at this picture.”

I thought maybe she was a little bit crazy, but she was very peaceful. So I said, "OK, I will try." I sat down and looked at the picture and immediately I saw Guru's big smile. The picture smiled.

When Guru smiled, I was like: “No, no! I'm crazy!” But then again, I felt in my heart a big smile: Happy, happy, happy! I couldn't understand, but I thought: “OK, this is good. I want to continue.”

My mother, Gariyasi, was also meditating. I wrote a letter to Guru to tell him I was meditating, and Guru said, "Come to New York. Come and see me."

Guru asked me to come to the meditation on Sunday morning. I wore a sari, and it was a beautiful meditation. Then he asked me to come up to him and he gave me this blessing, with his hands on my head, and said he was initiating me and that I was officially a disciple.

My only Beloved Supreme,
Do bless my breath
To be Your permanent heart-student.
Do bless.

Sri Chinmoy 1

• 1. My twenty-seven Hungry Prayer-Tears, Agni Press, 1991